


Non-linear Recovery

by salanaland



Series: Skywalker Family Feels [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Family Bonding, Father-Daughter Relationship, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Shenanigans (Star Wars), Gen, I guess that would be manslaughter, I mean they're actually ridiculous, Leia and Anakin abuse the italics tag, Overprotective Anakin Skywalker, Panic Attacks, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Recovery, References to Addiction, Skywalker Family Feels (Star Wars), Slavery (mentioned), Tatooine Slave Culture (Star Wars), accidental murder, anakin skywalker's a+ parenting, body horror (referenced), despite being dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salanaland/pseuds/salanaland
Relationships: Leia Organa & Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader
Series: Skywalker Family Feels [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616419
Comments: 11
Kudos: 88





	Non-linear Recovery

"Leia? _Leia_. Leia?!" 

Leia ignores the ghost's voice as she ducks one last blaster bolt, stumbles up the ramp as fast as she can, flings herself into one of the _Falcon's_ battered seats, and scrubs at her stinging eyes with her sleeve. It's not like she needs to _see_ to know who's fretting over her. "Yes--" she gasps, waving the ghost away. "Just--need to--sit down--" Her feet and hands are numb, cold, and painful all at once. "Catch--my breath--" Some part of her brain distantly appreciates the irony, but mostly she's just focused on holding on tightly as Rey and Chewie take off. 

"Your fingernails are blue," the silent voice remonstrates directly into her brain. 

"So're yours," she manages to retort. "When y' have 'em." 

"I'm _dead_. You're alive. Living humans aren't _supposed_ to be blue!" The faintest brush of soothing warmth spreads through her hands as her father's ghost cradles them in his own. 

"I'm _fine_ ," Leia mutters. "It'll be fine. Stop _worrying_."

"That's impossible," Anakin tells her with a brief smile. "Sorry. I'm made entirely of midi-chlorians, overwhelming love, and crippling anxiety. And I always have been." 

"The epitome of parenthood. I'm so lucky," Leia mumbles as her hands begin to throb.

"It's not like I don't have reason to worry about you, my precious princess. You got _spaced_ just _weeks_ ago," he lectures, as if there could be any danger of her forgetting the event that killed some of her dearest friends and caused her body to cease being its usual reliable, capable self. "You _barely_ survived. Half your capillaries _exploded_ from the lack of pressure. And it's not like they've all healed. Your hands and feet are _starving_ for oxygen."

"I'm _fine_ ," she snaps. "What do _you_ know about extremities anyway?" Anakin, kneeling in front of her, gives her a pained look and she squirms internally. "I'm sorry," she murmurs, her face burning bright with shame. "That was cruel of me to say."

Anakin smiles sadly, reaching up to brush away a tear escaping from her eye. "Leia, _you_ never need to ask for forgiveness from _me_." 

Leia laughs, bitter and desperate. "You're the only family I have left. I can't afford to drive _you_ away too." 

Anakin begins, "You _didn't_ \--" but stops when Finn runs through, on his way to the gunner station. 

The former stormtrooper barks out, "Hold on to something, Rey's about to take some evasive maneuvers--General," he adds belatedly. "Uhhhh, and, uh--" he stammers, eyes flicking to Anakin. 

"General works for me, too," Anakin offers. "Or just Anakin, since I'm not _your_ commanding officer." 

"Right," Finn says. " _Right_. I'm just gonna...go...shoot things now." He nearly trips over his feet at the gravitational border of the ladder, and Chewbacca, impatiently waiting for the ladder to be clear, growls at him to stop gawking at Darth Vader's ghost and get moving. 

"I love how the secret that wrecked my life has become no big deal," Leia comments pseudo-brightly. 

Anakin smiles wryly at her. "Look, I _know_ I'm your least favorite family member and you'd rather have literally _anyone_ else--" 

"I didn't say _that_ ," Leia attempts to interject. Anakin just gazes at her sadly. "I _didn't_ ," she repeats. "It's, it's _nice_ to be talking to you. As _family_. Not as an enemy." 

"Leia, don't lie to make _me_ feel better, I don't deserve it--" 

"I'm _not_ lying," Leia says firmly. "I _like_ having you in my life, and even if I had Luke and Han around, and, and _Ben_ ," and she swipes angrily at her eyes, "I would _still_ want to be haunted by the weirdest ghost I know."

Anakin scoffs. "After everything I've done? You can't be serious. " He busies himself with removing her left boot, peeling down her sock, and frowning thoughtfully at her foot. 

"I can too," Leia retorts. "I...I _want_ you around. I wish I'd had you in my life ever since--" 

"Ever since you were born?" Anakin asks quietly. 

"Ever since you _died_ ," Leia corrects him firmly. "Before then, it wasn't _my_ doing that you were not in my life. But _after_...after I _knew_ , and then _you_ found out, and then you were _dead_ and _not Dark_ , you reached out, and _I_ was the one who pushed _you_ away." She sighs heavily. "And _that_ , I regret." 

Anakin harrumphs and hunches over her feet, muttering to himself, "I'm really worried about these two little toes of yours. The blood flow is compromised and I don't want you to lose them. It's bad enough that you're already suffering from poor circulation, but I really want you to avoid _amputation_ , that's _extremely_ painful and probably wouldn't heal well because of--"

"Anakin," Leia tries to interrupt. 

"--inadequate perfusion _anyway_ , setting you up for gangrene and agonizing debridement--" 

"Anakin!" Leia tries again. 

"--and I _really_ don't want that for _you_ \--" 

" _Father_!" Anakin looks up in surprise, and Leia smiles gently, reaching out to him. "I love you too."

Anakin takes her hand and mumbles, "I don't _deserve-_ -you can't _possibly_ \--I understand that I've hurt and traumatized you in the past and I'm not asking for your forgiveness or--" 

"Shut up, Father," Leia says with a smile. "I _love_ you. Accept it." 

"Shutting up," Anakin replies quickly. Leia bursts into laughter, and Anakin frowns in confusion. "It wasn't that funny--" 

"You sounded _just_ like Threepio," Leia snickers. "Did you _program_ him to say that?" 

Anakin shrugs bashfully. "Yeah. I mean, sort of. He's--I made it so that he would try to placate anyone who might be angry at him... Because I didn't want Watto or anyone to get angry and hurt my mother for having a mouthy droid, you know..." He looks, suddenly, young and uncertain. Vulnerable. "Especially once I--once I was _freed_ and I left..." 

"I get that," Leia murmurs. "I mean, I wasn't--it was only two days, for me, so I'm sure I don't understand _fully_ \--" 

"I don't _want_ you to," Anakin tells her bluntly. "'Only two days' is _two days longer_ than I _ever_ wanted any child of mine in chains--" Leia bites her lip, ashamed, and Anakin scowls. "No. Leia. It's _not your fault_. It is _no_ cause for shame." 

"I was _careless_ , I got _caught_ , I _chose_ to take off the helmet, a disguise doesn't _work_ if you don't wear it--" 

"From what I've heard about what happened," Anakin begins carefully, "you took off the helmet to comfort your beloved as he suffered from hibernation sickness." 

Leia tilts her head quizzically. "Well, yes. But I shouldn't have risked it--" 

"No, it was absolutely the right thing to do," Anakin argues. "Hibernation sickness is _extremely_ disorienting, and he might have suffered much longer if he didn't know there were beings around him that he trusted." 

Leia frowns skeptically. "You're some kind of expert on hibernation sickness, too?" 

Anakin shrugs. "I've _had_ it, I've _been_ carbon-frozen. It's unpleasant. But no, I'm not an _expert_ on it like I am on what happens when your body parts _don't get enough oxygen._ " He flicks his fingers against Leia's right foot and tries to look stern and concerned at the same time.

"I'm fine," Leia protests, trying to hide her foot. 

"You're _lying_ ," Anakin corrects her. "Probably trying to keep me from being so worried."

"Is it working?" she asks hopefully. 

Anakin scoffs. "Does it _look_ like it's working?" 

"I'll _be_ fine. I caught my breath and everything," Leia mutters. "I _hate_ not being able to run anymore. And the chest pain." 

"I know," Anakin sympathizes. "I know exactly how you feel." 

"Don't _remind_ me that I'm turning into you," Leia scowls. "Unless I suddenly get taller. _That_ I wouldn't mind." 

"But then you'd have to re-learn how to walk and everything, it's not worth it at _all_. Besides, being short makes you a smaller target," Anakin objects. 

"As if a few centimeters make a huge difference to a good sniper--" Leia begins, then glares at her father. "Speaking of snipers, do _you_ know anything about the corpse that fell out of a tree this morning, right before all this started?" 

"No, of course not, I have _no_ idea what you're talking about and that guy probably died of a perfectly normal heart attack," Anakin insists, utterly failing to look innocent. 

"Clearly I got my ability to lie convincingly from my _mother_ ," Leia notes, glowering severely. 

"Yeah, probably. Look, I didn't _mean_ to kill him. I think it _was_ a heart attack, actually, he was _really_ scared."

"You _scared him to death_."

"Well, it sounds really _bad_ when you put it like that," Anakin mumbles. 

"It _looks_ really bad when my birth father the former _Sith Lord_ is the reason there's a _corpse_ falling on me!" Leia sighs, and rubs her eyes. "What did you _do_ that scared him so badly?" 

"How was _I_ supposed to know that he used to be an _Imperial_ sniper?" Anakin demands. " _Most_ people trying to shoot at you just get confused or distracted when I show up. Maybe they need clean _pants_ afterwards, but I haven't killed _anyone_ in more than three decades! Until today." He shrugs uncomfortably. "He _may_ have had a heart attack because he thought he saw Darth Vader about to Force choke him," he adds in a small voice. 

"And _was_ Darth Vader about to Force choke him?" Leia asks, pointedly.

" _No_ , absolutely _not_ ," Anakin insists, meeting her gaze steadily. "I _promise_. I only look all Vader at them because it makes for a better, quicker distraction than if I looked like _this_."

"You _know_ I have to ask." 

"Just like you had to ask Poe about the missing spice, I understand." Anakin quirks a slight smile, and his eyes twinkle even bluer, if possible. "I'd rather be questioned like a recovering addict than, y'know, have you loathing me because you think I'm stuck on the Dark Side forever."

Leia snorts. "Even if I _did_ think that, I know you'd be-- _distracting_ \--people to death around me anyway."

Anakin grins. "You're absolutely right."

Leia rolls her eyes with a smile. "You're too much."

"I love you too, dearest daughter." Anakin's smile vanishes, and he gazes unblinking up at her. "Even if I _was_ \--you know--if I still _was_ Vader--I would do the same. Protect you, I mean. Now that I _know_." He struggles for a minute, opening his mouth to speak, then stopping to consider his words. "If I had--earlier--" 

"You would have stalked me across the galaxy like you did Luke?" 

Anakin shrugs. "Well, yeah, but I was going to say..." He frowns in concentration for a moment. "If I had _known_ about you, if I had been told at that moment that I had a daughter that was chained to _Jabba_ , there is _nothing_ and _nobody_ that could have stopped me from freeing you." He squeezes her hands tightly. "Unless you freed _yourself_ before I got there." He smiles for a briefly blinding second, radiating his profound joy, his uncomplicated awe. Then his gaze falters, and he continues, "As _wrong_ , as _lost_ in the Dark Side as I _was_ , I would _still_ have--you're my _daughter_ \--" He trails off, looking plaintively up at her. "Even if the first thing you did was _kill_ me, it would have been _worth_ it, to see you _free_." 

"I know," Leia tells him softly. "I know." She tugs him up to sit next to her. "This is the worst part, for me. The _waiting_ , doing _nothing_ to help." 

"This ship has way too many guns for a light freighter, and _you_ have excellent aim," Anakin points out. "Why aren't you at one of the quad cannons?" 

Leia hunches in on herself. "Because I can't handle the ladder anymore. My feet--" 

"You can _levitate_ yourself to the seat," Anakin argues. "Or you could copilot, I'm sure you'd be a big help to Rey." 

"I'm not that good of a pilot--" 

Anakin scoffs, "You're just measuring yourself against your family full of phenomenal pilots. That's why you _think_ you fall short. You're actually a very good pilot. Bordering on great." Leia rolls her eyes in disbelief. "You are!" he insists. "Better than Obi-Wan, definitely. Almost as good as Ahsoka was when she left the Jedi. Better than when she first became my Padawan, anyway." 

"I thought you wanted to _protect_ me," Leia objects. "To look out for me and my oxygen-starved toes." 

"Yes, I do. But you can look after your health _and_ shoot from a ship turret." Anakin squeezes her hand. "You're far from helpless, and your command style is to lead from the front, like me." He waves his mechanical hand at the turret ladder. "Or from the turret, as the case may be. You have a different skill set than me. More ranged combat, better spycraft, _demoting_ your subordinates instead of murdering them--" 

"I slapped Poe," Leia reminisces gleefully. 

"But you're not the kind of General that puts your soldiers in harm's way while you stay safe." Anakin beams. "And you're phenomenally _good_ at it, and I am _so_ proud of you." He pokes the tip of her nose playfully. "All your _other_ parents were politicians and royalty. _I_ should get to take _some_ credit for your military skills." 

Leia pokes his nose in return. "I get my nose, my Force sensitivity, and my slightly alarming aptitude for warfare from you, sure." 

"And your chubby cheeks, your temper, and your stubbornness."

" _Why_ couldn't I get your _height_?" Leia grumbles again. 

"If you're short, it's easier to float yourself into the turret," Anakin suggests with a grin. Leia gives him a thoroughly unimpressed look, and he continues seriously, "One of the extremely skilled rebels you command is _you_. Your injuries haven't made you helpless or useless. Don't forget that." 


End file.
